Songs From The Heart

I have been surrounded my whole life with music. I have never been all that musical, and neither has my family - but I grew up with a mom constantly playing Who Sings It in the car with me as we would drive around. Her station pick was oldies, 60's and 70's music that she loved growing up. I guess it made her feel all nostalgic. If I started to wane in my enthusiasm for the game she would sometimes give me a quarter for every right answer. I started getting good, so she quit the quarter part - and in the end that was a real deal breaker for me.

When I left home I came into my own when it pertained to music. Choosing bands that spoke (or seemed to speak) for my generation. Oozing of the young adult angst, and confusion of that time period in my life. In the past few years I have been surrounded with music lovers of all different tastes. My roommates are both music lovers. Both singers, one guitar player, one piano learner. Then there is me, no singing voice, and too impatient to learn an instrument (except maybe the drums, the jury is still out on that one). They introduce me to a lot of independent music, or other bands I would never choose on my own. There is also my music loving friend Tdivmua (his code name), who re-introduced me to those oldies, as well as greats from the 80's and 90's, and then his daughter who has the music that relates to her own young adult angst. There are a few others that have introduced me to new bands over the years. Some people I knew personally, and some friends I met on the internet. I don't just sit around listening to music a lot. I mostly have it in the background, and then I'm not really listening, it is just noise.

Today I was sitting in the living room looking out the window, just thinking. This week has given me a lot to reflect on (maybe more on that later, or not considering the 3 old blog entries I still have left unwritten, and the unused writers block on my desk). I can't tell you what I was really thinking about, just thinking I guess - when I heard the words to a song Kim was playing:

And this may not be the road I would choose for me
But it still feels right somehow
Cus I have never felt you as close to me as I do right now
So this is what it feels like to be led

All thinking just stopped and I started focusing on the words. It is a new song from Jeromy and Jennifer Deibler called "What it Feels Like (to be Led)". I asked to listen to it again. And then again. It seems like this song encapsulates the last year and a half of my life. There were no lyrics in the CD book, and I couldn't find anything online for it, so I wrote them out.

So this is what it feels like to walk the wilderness
And this is what it feels like to come undone
So this is what it feels like to loose my confidence
Unsure of anything or anyone

So this is what it feels like to walk the desert sand
This is what it feels like to hear my name
And to be scared to death cause I'm alone
But feel love and peace just the same

This may not be the road I would chose for me
But it still feels right somehow
And I have never felt You as close to me as I do right now
So this is what it feels like to be lead

So this is what it feels like to have it fall apart
To be totally unglued
And find out if I except my brokenness
I get more of me, I get all of You

This is what it feels like to be on shaky ground
Careful of every step I take
Realizing as I stop to look around
I look around and see everything a different way

And this may not be the road I would choose for me
But it still feels right somehow
Cus I have never felt You as close to me as I do right now
So this is what it feels like to be led
This is what it feels like to be led

So this is what it feels like to just walk away
From everything I thought kept me safe
To depend just on You for every meal
And find it's better this way
Oh it's better this way

And this may not be the road I would choose for me
But it still feels right somehow
And I have never felt You as close to me as I do right now
Like I do right now

This may not be the road I would choose for me
But it still feels right somehow
And I have never felt You as close to me as I do right now
And this is what it feels like to be led
And this is what it feels like to be led
And this is what it feels like