Katie comes from a long line of leavers . . .

welp kids, this has been an interesting weekend, to say the least. am i going to be vague about it? you betcha.

i had a pretty open weekend - the first in over a month. i spent saturday reading and taking my dog for ridiculously long walks because it felt about 75 outside and it was amazing to be out in it on february 7. there have been many thoughts swimming in my mind of late. i don't know if you know this about me or not - but i am pretty content with my life. it started sometime in the fall (i can't pinpoint the day, or even the month). a calm came over my life that i can't quite explain other than God is showing me that things are ok. paul talks about it when he wrote the philippians - and i think i finally understand what he is talking about. i didn't have teen angst when i was growing up, but i did have 20's angst . . . to the extreme. things still bother me, or upset me, but i think i have begun to see the bigger picture and know that it is bothersome now but in a few weeks it will be just fine. anyway, the thoughts swimming in my mind are really related to what direction my life needs to take. what i am doing is fine for now, but there is no challenge, other than the physical challenge of work. it isn't challenging my mind. and on the rare occasions it calls for brain work it is on random things that shouldn't be analysed. so my ongoing question has been, what is next? where do i need to do next? is this it? i don't know if i ever expected those questions to be answered - but many options came poking me this weekend. out of nowhere in particular, why does He like to work that way? so i am weighing my options and seeing if there are any bites.

as i weighed and pondered today (some more) i got a call. "yes, the tax man does want all of your money." what i thought was a mistake in the way i was doing my taxes was no mistake at all. while i have most of the money that uncle sam wants, i don't have all of it - and that my friends is where my new found contentment (and trust) comes in. i did all the right things, my accountant did all the right things, my employers did all the right things, i saved the right amount out of the money from the work i did on the side for people this year, there is no one to blame (i usually blame myself, but i'm not this time because it was truly a fluke). it is an interesting thing really. such a sum of money never really entered my mind as being possible, and now it is just like a bad dream - one that i hope is over soon.