sleep (updated)

use to be that if i had problems in my family or at work or whatever - i slept. it was easier that way, i would just (in my mind) sleep though it. those days are over, and instead of sleeping last night i laid awake wishing my dog would smother me with my pillow so i would, at the very least, pass out.

yes, my entries will be like this for awhile. due to this 365 blog thing i will be here, last 2 times someone was in the hospital, i didn't have this self imposed deadline, and you didn't have to listen to me bitch.

****Update****

i feel like i don't have a place. and it is starting to piss me off. i have an anger building inside of me that i can't let go in any healthy way - so instead i scream at my stuff that won't fit where i want it to fit, or that falls off a shelf, or that doesn't have a place. i think it may just be that i am tired . . . but i really want to rip something apart. i need a rock or fax machine hitting day really badly.