THE SKY IS F-A-L-L-I-N-G!!!
Yesterday it was about 70 outside. People were walking around in shorts. Unfortunately I needed groceries. I hate grocery shopping and hadn't bought any food in about a month. I live off the generosity of others (a.k.a. I'm a moocher), so I didn't need to buy much lately. I decided I needed to buy some food of my own, and attempt to buy some things to put a dent in the pay back of others for their kindness to me. Well my attempt at taking care of my self and the needs of some others happened to coincide with the soothsayer warning that the sky would be falling, and so I fought the people at the store and stood in line with the worriers. I thought it was funny that the "winter storm of the century" was coming and we were all in line in shorts. I just laughed to myself (I do that - shut up).
Darkness fell and so did the temperature . . . and soon the rain. As of right now the rain is still falling, but still no ice or snow. I didn't, however, go to work. Why? Because I work off some of the craziest roads known to man. This morning I could get there, but temperatures hovering at 32 could cause said roads to ice over, leaving me trapped down there. That wouldn't have been half bad if a few other people from work had gone in, but they didn't - so here I sit. I'm sure they are right. In about an hour we will get sleet, and the road will freeze over. I will be glad I am at home where I can watch movies, catch up on my email, letters, blogging, and thinking I haven't been doing over the last month or two. I did bring some work home with me, but the computer program I use is really slow on my home computer. Probably because it is a million years old, and runs about as fast as I do.
As I sit here and await the end of the world (thanks Dave Murray), I can't help but see that I haven't updated here since November 5th. I feel like not much has happened since then. But I will review anyway. I will put the main thought in bold so that you can skim the major points and not be bogged down with the minor ones. So you can move quickly though this incredibly long blog, or take it all in like a good movie.
1. I met someone new, and am now thinking about letting them go. So I met a boy and we went out a few times. Thanksgiving hit and I haven't really talked to him much, and I don't really miss it. So, what does that mean? He is a nice person, but I just don't feel anything more than "Wow, nice guy." I feel kind of shallow about it, I mean I like a few other people, but we have been friends for a few years. They (to my knowledge) don't like me back. So now that there is someone new who likes me, why don't I like them? Is it because I haven't known him for a year? I don't really know what to think, or what to do. We were suppose to go out tonight, but the place closed due to impending weather (dang you weather channel). I was going to use tonight as a gage, the one last attempt for me to get a good look at this person and the potential. Now he wants to hang out this weekend instead - and I don't really want to spend that kind of time. I would much rather go sledding (if that snow you have been promising me shows up DAVE) and not really think about relationships.
2. I finally saw an old friend for who they really are. I have a friend that I have known for ever, or at least it feels like forever. Lets get a few things out of the way. Yes, it is a boy and I did like him . . . a lot. We kept going back and forth about what our future held. We could never get quite lined up just right. I could never put my finger on why. Sure we lived far from one another, but I figured we would work that out soon enough. I use to think it was because we were both selfish and neither one of us wanted to move from where we were. Come to find out, he is just a jerk and wants me to change everything to meet him, instead of meeting me half way. He kept harping on me to do this or that, or not do this or that. That is fine if they are annoying traits that I have, like I don't brush my teeth or shower, but these were things that have been a part of who I am since I was born. Things that don't make me a bad person, just annoying to him. But when confronted about the harmful things he was doing to himself and to me, it was just glossed over. So, I think that is done. And done for good. I have feel that it has been done before. But those times I felt such conflict about it. One part of me wanting to change to be with him, and the other part holding firm. This time I feel great about it, with 100% of my being refusing to be treated the way he has been treating me. I had two dreams the morning before I was suppose to hang out with him, they both had to do with the fact that I couldn't see clearly. That night I could see clearly for the first time when it came to him and me. And it is awesome.
3. I think I might just be better. I have been going to counseling for a little over a year now. Not the first time I have ever gone, may not be the last. But for this round anyway, I feel good. For awhile I didn't want to go because I started to hate all the scrutiny. But slowly I have started to feel like not going because I don't have anything to talk about. When I search deep down and inside out I don't see anything that is a hindrance. Sure, my past influences who I am today, and what I do - but I think I can recognize it, and work through it now, instead of getting bogged down by it all like I was before.
4. Stranger Than Fiction is a must see. I never reviewed Little Miss Sunshine (3 viewings and counting), and I'm not going to review Stranger Than Fiction (just the one viewing). BUT I will say that they are both excellent movies, probably two of the best I have seen all year. Both well done, thought provoking, and all around great movies. If you haven't seen any of them please go. I will pay for your tickets if you can't afford it, or I will run an errand for you if it is causing you to not see these movies.
5. Save the cheerleader, save the world. I now know what that sentence means. It is so clear now, even if the rest is a little bit sketchy. I have fallen victim to Heroes. I went into it kicking and screaming. Vowing never to get caught up in another television show. I was doing well, with The Office as my only vice I had left. I had put all the others behind me and was well on my way to being TV free. Dang you NBC and your new show Heroes. Now I am hooked and people know where to find me on Tuesday nights (It comes on Mondays, but I can't watch it, so I am watching the DVD on Tuesdays).
6. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like me. That's right, the verdict is in. I'm all those things and more. I would like to take this time and say it isn't pride that I say those things, it is humility. For too long I have pushed off complements, and encouragement, only because I didn't think I was any of what they were saying. But you know what, that only ends up making relationships harder. SO - sorry everyone, I'm working on it.
7. The guitar is my enemy. Ok, so it really isn't the enemy, my desire to play it is (remember desire is the enemy). I sat down to start again, destined to be the next Kate York, or Harold Click, or just a version of me who could play - and I broke a string. Not a big deal, but it is to someone who doesn't take the time to shop . . . for anything, and for a person who doesn't fully get how to string a guitar. I have strung this one once or twice, but I'm not that good at it. So, two weeks later, and I still have now string and haven't taken the time to go get one.
8. Daniel Craig is as good of a James Bond as I thought . . . better even. I heard your collective groan when Daniel Craig was announced as the next James Bond. I heard you all say he is too little, too un-cut, too blond. Well eat your words, I think Casino Royale is one of the best Bond movies in a long time. I will not say it is the best, I will just sit in my corner and think it to myself. The movie, overall, did a good job explaining a few things about the character of James Bond. Why he is how he is, and does what he does. Thumbs up for good character development, something really lacking in the Bond movies in general.
9. Poor Katie. Poor Katie Holmes didn't get quite free from the clutches of the menacing Dr. Evil (a.k.a. Tom Cruise). My Free Katie sticker and shirt didn't garner the respect they should have and we as a nation should be ashamed that we didn't step in and stop this abomination. I will sheepishly admit I did watch MI3 and liked it, let the public flogging commence.
10. I don't know when I will blog again. It may be later today, it may be tomorrow, it may be next week. I will try to think of things to say more often, just to protect you all from more entries like these that take me an hour to write and you all 30 minutes to wade through.
