Last nights fortune:
Investigate new possibilities with friends. Now is the time!
If you play the little game we Americans have given to this profound cookie - it makes for one hilarious, all be it embarrassing fortune to share.
12.31.2006
12.22.2006
Thinking Outside The Box
It is a nondescript box really. The size of a DVD case (wait, it is a DVD case). It is a plain case, but what strikes you the most when you look at it is "YELLOW". Seriously, that is the first thing I see and the first word that pops into my head: "YELLOW". The writing is very simple, but the simplicity of it speaks volumes. The next thing I notice are running people and a large VW bus. If you haven't guessed it already, it is the Little Miss Sunshine DVD. Chistmas isn't technically here yet, so I can't make a proper judgment, but so far it is my favorite gift (sorry).
OR
I'm more of the #2 variety. I saw it 3 times in the theatre paying more to watch it there than the DVD costs. I decided to wait and buy it after Christmas, because I knew I could count on the Best Buy gift card from my boss, or a friend knowing my addiction and totally willing to feed said addiction. I was correct.
I don't really know what it is about this movie. What captured me about it. I think it was probably Abigail Breslin (Olive) or Steve Carell . . . possibly Greg Kinnear. Whatever, it doesn't matter. This movie is all about every character dealing with disappointment, and how each of them dealt with it. How it is ok to get excited about things, and how much that excitement can effect people around you. And it is OK to want something really bad, but it is also OK to have it not happen. I think in the end that is what I struggle with the most in my life. I don't want because I don't want the disappointment. But in the end - I will move on out of that place of disappointment (if there is any), so it is OK to get excited about some things.
Muddled description of my feelings, but my feelings are always a little muddled.
I have found one of two things associated with people who watch this movie.
1. It is pretty good. Funny, glad I saw it, but I only needed the one time
1. It is pretty good. Funny, glad I saw it, but I only needed the one time
OR
2. I watched it. Went out the next weekend and watched it again. Wanted to go see it again, but didn't because I was with people who had already seen it 4 times. Watched it at the $2.00 theatre before it finally left the big screen. Then ran out and bought it at midnight on Monday December 18th.
I'm more of the #2 variety. I saw it 3 times in the theatre paying more to watch it there than the DVD costs. I decided to wait and buy it after Christmas, because I knew I could count on the Best Buy gift card from my boss, or a friend knowing my addiction and totally willing to feed said addiction. I was correct.
I don't really know what it is about this movie. What captured me about it. I think it was probably Abigail Breslin (Olive) or Steve Carell . . . possibly Greg Kinnear. Whatever, it doesn't matter. This movie is all about every character dealing with disappointment, and how each of them dealt with it. How it is ok to get excited about things, and how much that excitement can effect people around you. And it is OK to want something really bad, but it is also OK to have it not happen. I think in the end that is what I struggle with the most in my life. I don't want because I don't want the disappointment. But in the end - I will move on out of that place of disappointment (if there is any), so it is OK to get excited about some things.
Muddled description of my feelings, but my feelings are always a little muddled.
12.19.2006
Fourteen
I have 14 months of blogs. 14! In those 14 months I haven't really actually said anything. Sure there are a few that might have been good, had some meaning, or were insightful - but not many. Most days I wonder why I have a blog at all. When asked why I blog, I usually just shrug my shoulders. It has just become a whining place, one of the many whining places I have build over the years. You would think I could just whine one place, and leave everyone else alone. But no, I whine on the phone to my mom, whine to my ex-door neighbor at work, whine to my counselor, whine to my small group, whine to my dog. I should grow up already and just take life as it comes and shut the hell up.
On another note: why do crappy things always happen to the nice people? Not one jerk I know is having a hard time in life. And every kind person I know is having a rough go of things.
On another note: why do crappy things always happen to the nice people? Not one jerk I know is having a hard time in life. And every kind person I know is having a rough go of things.
12.15.2006
Spiral
it is strange, i step onto a downward spiral - almost by accident, and in no time flat i am sliding down. so fast that i didn't even remember getting in line for the ride. and like a fun corkscrew water slide, i can't stop. no matter how hard i try to stop myself i can't do it. i only stop at the bottom of the slide. sometimes i feel like there are people on the slide with me at the same time, or on the slide next to me. sometimes i wonder if we just happened to get on the slide at the same time, or if i accidentally pulled them in with me.
12.14.2006
12.13.2006
Heat Wave
Man, it is like a heat wave around here. I think it is warmer outside than the temperature is set in the house.
Work: Vastly different than this time last year. I have been working on a new drawing program to put our designs into 3D with minimal amount of work (as opposed to Auto CAD). Man, I find myself starting and not moving until someone makes me. Good, because I am actually working. Bad, because I hurt later - my back, my eyes, my head. I keep pushing myself to get better and faster so it can be a useful tool rather than something I know how to do and it rarely gets done because I am not fast enough at it to squeeze it all into my day. WOW long sentence. Today I needed a Sketch Up break, so I worked on some office awards (Dundies, if you will). I had to find pictures that related to the award. Not easy when the award names are really obscure like Best Man Hour Ratio. You can't exactly type that into Google images and have some funny picture pop up. I enlisted the help of NAD and went to work. He is much better at finding stuff than I am. Maybe more patient is the word I'm looking for. Every time I would get mad about it all he would calm me down.
Home: Kind of boring. I like it that way sometimes. Boring can get lonely though. Christmas shopping, wrapping, and avoiding is key this year. Well just like every year. I try to avoid Christmas if I can. I thought I was 90% done with the shopping . . . only to realize I was closer to 43%. Blah. Those on the new list are those that I have no idea what to buy for them.
Seem to be over boy problems, at least for now. I can feel another one coming up. I feel bad for those around me on a daily basis because they have to hear me cry about it. Maybe I'm not as ready for this whole dating thing like I thought. Part of me feels like I will settle, and I don't want to. The other part of me feels like I am being to high strung about this, and don't want that either. Is there a middle spot? If so, I don't have any idea what that looks like.
I guess that is all I know. I don't have anything profound to say - but when has that ever really been the case that I did?
Later.
Work: Vastly different than this time last year. I have been working on a new drawing program to put our designs into 3D with minimal amount of work (as opposed to Auto CAD). Man, I find myself starting and not moving until someone makes me. Good, because I am actually working. Bad, because I hurt later - my back, my eyes, my head. I keep pushing myself to get better and faster so it can be a useful tool rather than something I know how to do and it rarely gets done because I am not fast enough at it to squeeze it all into my day. WOW long sentence. Today I needed a Sketch Up break, so I worked on some office awards (Dundies, if you will). I had to find pictures that related to the award. Not easy when the award names are really obscure like Best Man Hour Ratio. You can't exactly type that into Google images and have some funny picture pop up. I enlisted the help of NAD and went to work. He is much better at finding stuff than I am. Maybe more patient is the word I'm looking for. Every time I would get mad about it all he would calm me down.
Home: Kind of boring. I like it that way sometimes. Boring can get lonely though. Christmas shopping, wrapping, and avoiding is key this year. Well just like every year. I try to avoid Christmas if I can. I thought I was 90% done with the shopping . . . only to realize I was closer to 43%. Blah. Those on the new list are those that I have no idea what to buy for them.
Seem to be over boy problems, at least for now. I can feel another one coming up. I feel bad for those around me on a daily basis because they have to hear me cry about it. Maybe I'm not as ready for this whole dating thing like I thought. Part of me feels like I will settle, and I don't want to. The other part of me feels like I am being to high strung about this, and don't want that either. Is there a middle spot? If so, I don't have any idea what that looks like.
I guess that is all I know. I don't have anything profound to say - but when has that ever really been the case that I did?
Later.
12.10.2006
It could happen
She could meet the most incredible guy tomorrow. Someone that would truly sweep her off her feet. He would love her well. Treat her respectfully, kindly, lovingly. He would prove every thought that she has about relationships wrong. But somewhere in the back of her mind she would wonder. What day will he wake up and decide he doesn't love her any more? Will it be tomorrow? Will it be next year? Will they be married for 20 years with 2.5 kids and it will happen? Or worse, would it happens early in the marriage, and they don't get divorced but they live a loveless co-existence together for the rest of their lives?
12.03.2006
I don't know
I don't know what to do. If I stay quiet, it could hurt more. If I talk I run the risk of a fight. I was never good at this relationship stuff. Maybe that is why I have shied away from them. I hate this part, the knowing that I am going to hurt someone's feelings, and it isn't their fault - it's just how it is. I feel like such a jerk. I'm sure after tonight I will have more words, good or bad, I don't know. Maybe I won't have any more words but these - I don't feel like a nice person.
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