I've been . . .

in a word, i have been gone. gone from here, at least. don't really know why. i come around about once a day to read links i have - they have something to say (well some of them do). i just don't have anything left to say i guess. i have been working the past few weeks at looking at the positive. i suppose when i look at the positive i don't really have a lot to talk about. venting has always been my way of life and there really isn't a way to vent positively.

this week has been a hard one to look on the bright side about. it started off well enough on monday morning. at about 1 that all went to pot, then to hell with the rest of the day. i figured it was just a day. one bad day in the last month isn't so bad. well that one day has evolved into 3 (well yesterday wasn't bad), ending in a fount of expletives and a thrown tire iron. no one was around - so i could possibly deny it ever happened. after that i have pretty much been numb. talking little. tonight i cried in a room full of people. no one noticed, or if they did - they didn't care. i'm good at crying without people knowing. it's this thing i do, had 25 years of practice.

that's about all i guess. maybe i will be back in a shorter time frame.