Holes

no, not the movie - but i do recommend it. it is a little "g" but that doesn't mean it can't be good.

i have been on a long journey out of a large hole (it's depression, just so we are all on the same page - didn't want anyone feeling left out because they couldn't pick up my analogy). it was really more deep than big. the hole is only big enough for me and it is a place i can be alone and wallow in all sorts of self "stuff". you know, self doubt, self loathing, selfishness, self pity, the list continues (all starting with the word "self"). i first realized i needed to get out of that hole was when i couldn't even see the top, things were too dark (i will let you deduce on your own what "too dark" encompasses). i couldn't see any light, not even a pin prick worth. over time i found myself closer and closer to the top. i could see more and more light. at one point i was so close to the top i could see things outside of the hole. birds in the sky, the grass on the edge of the hole, i think there was even a tree branch in the view. today i find myself standing on the edge of the hole. you might say "yea! great job kate!" but you would be wrong in saying that. because the fact is, i have been out of the hole awhile, and was walking away from it. today i find myself walking back to the hole, back at the edge of it looking down into it. thinking, maybe the dark wasn't so bad. out here i need sunglasses, the grass needs to be cut, and there are people out here that want to interact on a real level.