Are there wires touching that aren't supose to?

This is one of those times when I think there is something terribly wrong with me. I don't mean physically (though there are some arguments there but I won't go into that right now), I mean mentally. I just took a test in about 15 minutes - the rest of the class is still going strong 20 minutes later. It was a full 10 minutes before the second person turned the test in. Was it hard and I didn't know it? Did I read the questions wrong? Did I not figure the probability of getting just the grade I wanted? The kicker - I took it TWICE before turning it in because it really only took me about 7 minutes. I got to the end of the test and I thought maybe that I missed something - didn't. OH!!!, and I counted all those I'm pretty sure I got right vs. those wrong (4 pts for every right answer, -2 for all wrong, 0 for any unanswered) to make sure I wasn't going to fail the test. And here I sit. 3 of us are done and we have to wait for the class to start (3 hour class - test plus two hours of lecture to come). Same thing on my statistics test last week. Took me almost the whole class time, but I was one of the first 6 to turn it in, and I would bet he was having to pick up tests from people who were not done when time was up. Ecology - similar too. I have never been one that can sit and think about it all day long, if I don't know the answer I have to move on or I freak myself out. If I do know the answer then I have to move on or I will talk myself out of that answer and then I am just a mess. The weird thing is I am a terrible test taker, and I think I have developed this speed process to help me. Does it help, or is it hurting me.

I have been blogging a lot lately about my time here. What? You haven't seen any blogs in over a week? Well that is because they are videos that never got on the site because they don't work right. The picture and the sound don't match and it is driving me crazy. So, you don't have videos, you are glad, I am sad, and so I haven't written because I have about 5 videos on my hardrive that won't load. I may make it through the semester, but it is touch and go most days. I'm trying to remember that I was not thrown in the deep end just so God could watch me drown, he put me here and is treading water next to me helping me keep my head above water.

Still have 20 minutes left on the test, 5 are finished (including me) 4 still left. I hope they get done in time. What are they doing?

Mystery blogger: Wants vs. Needs . . . go!

HA!!!

Evolution

I have been studying the last couple of days for my Ecology test that is coming up tomorrow. My time doesn't really seem to be my own anymore, and what free time I do have I don't spend by myself, so the time I spend studying I want to be doing anything but . . . but I digress (those are all things I am working out and getting more successful by the day).

So in Ecology there is big talk about evolution. While I agree with the idea that evolution happens over time in all organisms (like invertebrates that have adapted to the higher concentrations of Iron and Zinc in creeks where that is a high runoff pollution) I don't agree with the idea put best by Dr. Frankenstein:

"From that fateful day when stinking bits of slime first crawled from the
sea and shouted to the cold stars, 'I am man.', our greatest dread has always
been the knowledge of our mortality."
-Young Frankenstein (1974)

We even watch the Planet Earth videos in class. They are magnificent. Showing how everything works together. How each degree of temperature effects migration, food foraging, and mating. How could that be an accident? Just my short rant for the day.

The other rant being, I made a video last week that truly captured the moment and it won't load correctly. I have tried several times on several different days on several different video presentation websites with no success. Truly a classic that will not be seen, and that makes me upset.

narcissist

It was determined yesterday that I was a narcissist. It is a badge I wear proudly . . . judging from the rambling video I made yesterday.

Prayers for the People #2

That I would live my life from an eternal perspective.

This topic was hard to nail down with Brother Lawrence, mostly because that is basically the theme of his ENTIRE book. The idea of practicing the presence of God boils down to living the here and now not thinking so much about the here and now, but focusing on God and what he wants to accomplish through us here and forever. Paul also speaks from an eternal perspective in Philippians 1:18-26. While in prison he was writing the people of Philippi asking for prayer as well as telling them about the hope he has in the future.

So here are some of the highlights on the idea of an eternal perspective from Brother Lawrence:

• He (Brother Lawrence) showed ups how, at any moment and in any circumstance, the soul that seeks God may find Him, and practice the presence of God.
• That he expected hereafter some great pain of body or mind; that the worst that could happen to him was to lose that sense of God which he had enjoyed so long. But that the goodness of God assured him he would not forsake Him utterly . . . and therefore he feared nothing.
• And it was observed that in the greatest hurry of business in the kitchen, he still preserved his recollection and heavenly-mindedness.
• "Let us think often that our only business in this life is to please God, and that all besides is but folly and vanity."
• ". . . offer to God a sacrifice of perfect worship in this life, as we hope to do through eternity."

While reading on this I did a quick Google search (they are everywhere) of Eternal Perspective. I found this link: http://bradbeaman.wordpress.com/2007/09/27/how-to-keep-an-eternal-perspective/ . It was a good article about the Philippians verse, going in great detail about it's message, as well as a look at a few quotes from Jim Elliott.

I'm Still Jenny From The Block

There are several aspects to this move that have been life changing for me. I mean, all moves are change right? Even when I moved from one house with one roommate to another house with two there were major changes that took effect.

In the midst of small changes, like address, and Skyping, and dog walking, there have been some huge changes like friends, overall location, and school. But I'm still Jenny from the block. No matter where I go I know where I came from.

The major change I want to talk about today is the change of school. Why? Well because it is a HUGE change.

1. Reading. I have never had to do this much reading in my life. OK, it was always assigned, but no one cared if you read it or not. Now they do. Not only do they want you to read it, they want you to remember what you read and be able to debate it/and or critique it regularly. I know, I should have been doing that in my undergrad, but when you are reading the history of landscape architecture, you just need dates and names - skimming is completely possible. Understanding complex concepts, laws, and ecological regulations . . . oh, and reading all the pros and cons on environmental policy, or terms; that is what is taking the time. And when was the last time you read a statistics book? A show of hands? That is what I thought. Just try to read that in the library without falling asleep and drooling all over page 13.
2. Homework. Homework is not new. I spent my fair share of time in the studio working on projects during my undergrad. I also spent quite a bit of time sitting at home working on papers, etc. But this homework is different, it is the reading (see 1) and it may not be due until the end of the semester. Or, my favorite, you are given statistics homework - but instead of just having to do the problems you get to write little essays about every problem. Why you came up with that answer, why it is important, and what it is used for. AND, while you are at it, why don't you teach yourself a statistical program to help do the work for you. What? You mean you don't know dos? Well I guess you will have to read this manual to help find some obscure command.
3. Thinking outside the box. For those of you who actually know me, I am an in the box thinker. I go with what works. Here that is thrown out the window. No one tells you what to write about, they just want you to write. And the goals! Oh the goals. What are your goals? What are you going to do to achieve your goals? What are the goals of your goals? If your goals met and fell in love what kind of goal children would they have?
4. Knowing how to cut through the BS. I don't have that one figured out yet. But my Issues in Environmental Sustainability class is full of it. Books upon books of people talking with an agenda. EVERYONE has an agenda. But what are the facts? Well you have to cut through all the rhetoric to find them. How do you do that in a piece that is totally slanted one way that they are using their bias to hide the facts. It is like the last presidential election all over again. At least my professor wants to hear all sides, and give validity to each argument. After all, that is how we learn and grow from one another. I just wish more people felt that way instead of automatically telling me I was wrong after voicing my opinion instead of listening to it, taking from it what is valid and moving on. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
5. Avoidance. I am an avoid-er (I realize this is really BIG NEWS). The more difficult it becomes the less I want to work on it. So after an hour of statistics (during my 3 hour statistics marathon) where the teacher starts to sound like he is not speaking English, I shut down. I think about my day, my friends, my other homework, or the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? African or European, I don't care. I also spend vast amounts of time thinking about the woods, playing with my dog, reading Aldo Leopold, and blogging (as evidence of the 2 video posts . . . 3 if you count the trashed one). The daily crossword has been reintroduced at my peril.

What is sustainable for me? That has been a big topic in my Environmental Sustainability class (obviously). But it means more than just for the environment, or for our lives, but for you in this time of life. Getting all A's and being at the top of the class and working my life away on a thesis is not sustainable for me. I can't go without friends, or time to just sit and stare off into space, or go and be with God (both in church and out), or sit in the woods and contemplate Aldo Leopold's ideas about nature and Psalm 104. So is sustainability getting B's, seeing friends, and blogging every once and awhile? Is it taking this many hours at a time? Sustainability, something to think about.

Vimeo is my new friend

For now Vimeo is my new friend. They were able to upload a video correctly today so for now they are my player of choice. I tend to look at Vimeo as being for more serious video people, but I figured they might have room for a hack like me.

First Vimeo from Katie Morgan on Vimeo.

Katie is irritated

I am irritated. Irritated because I have done a post or two and they won't load correctly. I did a video blog last night that will not load. It is in sync on my computer, but when I upload it it is all out of whack. So, lucky you, you don't have to watch me bumble around again. If I ever get it figured out I'm sure I will be posting them. Mostly because I blog more when I do the videos because it is easier to hit record to talk about what is going on than to sit down and write. I'm sure after a time it would be back to how it is with the written postings and I would put too much thought into them and then they don't get written because I feel like I have to have a topic or theme or be funny or be serious . . . something.

So things here are going alright for now. I am a bit overwhelmed by my statistics class. I had an hour long rant about it last night. I'm sure my new friends are really excited to have me here when I do things like that. Oh, and some of the old because it will trickle down to them too. I have more to say about masters programs (or at least my masters program) in a later post. I know how promises go with me, so it is all up in the air.

My mind is full, but I will be running later tonight so that will help. Monday was like a breath of fresh air for my soul when I went running after class. It sustained me until about 7:30 last night when I was in the middle of my statistics class. When it sounded like a foreign language I knew I had pretty much reached the end of my sustainability.

Let's Go to the Movies

It's really no secret, I love me some movies. In the past year that has changed some. I still love movies, but I just don't take them so seriously. It is ok not to like one, and it is ok that someone else might not want to watch it. Right now I have little time for movies, but that is alright too. Anyway, a friend of mine sent me this and I decided to share. It is a great look at how far movies have really come. I got a good dose of movie history a few years back, but this was a good reminder. The music is fun too.