Now What?

Well, after my "Darth Vader" post I became the proud owner of Star Wars Episode III. I got it as a gift, because I have no money. The fact that I have no money bothers me, the fact that I got a gift bothers me.

The fact that I have no money and that bothers me should not be a shocker. A lot of people don't enjoy lacking for money. My problem is I rarely buy anything or do anything so where is all my money going. In a word "GAS." Gas cost is going down, but for how long? Will it be worse next summer? If it is I will have to find a new place to work where I can ride my bike.

The fact that I got a gift and that bothers me should send up a huge red flag. Basically I can't let people love me, I can't let people be nice to me. Somewhere along the timeline that is my life I became skeptical of others and them doing nice things for me and really skeptical of those who show their love for me. Like there is some sort of a catch. But kindness has no catch, the movie has no catch, and love REALLY doesn't have a catch if you read Corinthians. How am I going to make it in this world if I am doing it on my own, not letting anyone in, pushing everyone away?