Enjoy The Silence

I just started a new book with a group I am in. It is called Enjoy The Silence. The title struck me right away - I love silence. I can go for days without listening to the radio, or talking to a soul. But after those days I am crazy, because I didn't fill it with anything valuable. I filled it with filth in my mind. Over analyzing and over thinking, past, present, and the future. So loving the silence really only lasts a short time, and the rest of the time I feel trapped by it. After reading the first chapters I felt a pull to be alone, to be silent for real. It ended poorly (see last nights blog).

But, today is a new day. Enjoy The Silence is all about meeting with God everyday and just exploring Him deeper. Much like I would meet with an old friend, getting to know them - what they like, what they don't. What they think about, what is important to them. So, if I may - I think that is what will be here. A reflection of what I read and what I see. It won't always be about that, but it will be a spring board.
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Day 1
Luke 8:4-15
While a large crowd was gathering and people were coming to Jesus from town after town, he told this parable:
"A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path; it was trampled on, and the birds of the air ate it up. Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up with it and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil. It came up and yielded a crop, a hundred times more than was sown."
When he said this, he called out, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear."
His disciples asked him what this parable meant. He said, "The knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of God has been given to you, but to others I speak in parables, so that, "though seeing, they may not see; though hearing, they may not understand.'
"This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is the word of God. Those along the path are the ones who hear, and then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. Those on the rock are the ones who receive the word with joy when they hear it, but they have no root. They believe for a while, but in the time of testing they fall away. The seed that fell among thorns stands for those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by life's worries, riches and pleasures, and they do not mature. But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.

What stuck out to me the most were the words trampled, withered, and choked. They describe what I feel daily. I feel choked by the things of this world, the in and out of daily life, the thorny past I have, the worry and stress of my daily life. My life is the soil of distraction, slowly choking me every day.
Some time I feel like I am choking my own heart. Wrapping bands around it to keep it from growing. Putting obstacles in my own way keeping me from fully loving, trusting, following, or even believing in God. By hardening my heart, by banding it to keep it from growing I protect it. Protect me from getting hurt - but that keeps me from accepting God, keeps me from accepting his gift, keeps me from being free.
God help me to loosen the bands on my heart. Tear down the walls I have built to keep you and everyone else out. Make my heart open and soft to you and what you have to show me.
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