is the tax man

no, i will not update you on the statuses you missed - because i am in just that sort of mood. my weekend and monday were full. not full in the case of, "wow, i have a lot going on and i just can't catch a break." but full in the fact that there were a lot of things going on mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and yes - some physically. in the interest of time i am going to do a "stream of consciousness" stolen from my friend John.

• while friday was suppose to be spent at a big brothers/big sisters lock in it was not. for reasons unexplainable other than the ever changing mind of a teenager i spent the evening at home . . . well not at home after all. i couldn't figure out why that teenage mind had been changed until the events of the day and night unraveled and then it made perfect sense. am i being ambiguous? yes, of course i am. friday night is not really my story to tell, only that i am glad to have been in the right place at the right time, and am humbled every day how God chooses to work in my life.
• up early on saturday to go work at the Harris home. what a great time to work side by side with friends and take some time to get to know everyone a bit better.
• i am getting closer and closer to the summer which means a lot of things. one it is going to be hotter than a cat on a hot tin roof, and two i am getting closer to family camp. more on that to come, but in short is is a trip that my mom and i are taking to help give some families a much needed break and time to re-connect on deeper levels. i can't wait.
• more and more i am finding that it is easy to give my heart away. not necessarily in the romantic love department, but in relationships in general. while i have guarded my heart for about 30 years, this gradual giving that has been going on has made a huge impact on me.
• i am crying a lot more now, and not really because i am sad (random tidbit)
• i started my taxes this weekend - and yes i am totally frustrated. due to changes in my life over the past year and some change my taxes have been a confusing mess. this was compounded this year again and now i fear that i will not be able to do my taxes on my own this year. i have always found a sense of pride in doing my taxes since i was 16, and now i am seeing that i need to be humble enough to ask for some much needed help.
• i am learning that to be a christian really means to become like Jesus and show him to others. not to be afraid to admit your problems or hang ups. Kevin likes to say that - aa is where you go and admit you are bad and you get better. church is a place you go and pretend you are good and get worse. anyway, i heard christianity encapsulated so well last week Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Now don't read that as you have to be all those things at once. Look at them as steps. First learn to be humble. then as you grasp the humble part you will gradually learn to be gentle. and so on until, in the end, you are looking more and more like Jesus.
• i am finding that i have a lot of thoughts, but i never really finish them. i get a good start and then they just fizzle. i don't know if it is lack of thought, or that there is too much thought.
• i am gaining a different perspective on my job. not a good or bad perspective - just different.
• and to conclude i have The Beatles and their cartoon of Taxman: