Graph Paper and Education

I didn't realize it had been a month since I posted last. Sad thing about me - when more is going on in my life that might actually be fun to read about, I don't take the time to write. I don't know if I would call the last month "fun", but there has sure been a lot of thinking and shake up going around.


If you also follow my Flickr account you will see that I only posted one day's worth of photos for February. BECAUSE I ONLY TOOK ONE DAY'S WORTH OF PHOTOS IN FEBRUARY! Why is that, you may ask - well because I didn't take my camera ANYWHERE, and I grew tired of taking pictures of my dog looking at me like I was beating her when I pulled out the camera. So starting March 1 I started taking my camera with me to work. OK, really it all started when I saw my bread was L'oven Fresh. Not Oven Fresh - L'oven Fresh:


So, I took my camera to work and got all sorts of dirty pictures:

This is my face after coming in from a power washing project. You can see where my safety glasses have been.
The fronts of these pants use to be the color of the back. Not only are they beyond dirty - they are wet from the power washer.

Other than that I haven't taken many photos. The month is young. I did take a few of a project I am working on in Tower Grove area, but I don't really have much of note yet.

So, this week I needed an Engineer scale at work. I don't have any scales at work, but the 1/8 scale or 1/4 scale are much easier to do with a standard ruler. The 10 or 20 scale can be a bit tougher. So what could I do? I went online to see if there was a printable version. Didn't find a printable scale, but I found printable graph paper. Not only can you quickly print off graph paper if you need a random sheet, you can also tailor the sheet to look like you want! http://www.printfreegraphpaper.com/, this isn't the only place you can do such a thing, but it is what I found first. If you don't know this about me already, let me just tell you now: GRAPH PAPER IS MY FAVORITE. If I have a choice between plain, lined, or graph, I pick graph every time. Quirky? Perhaps, but it is me.


Other than working, taking random L'oven Fresh photos, and getting giddy over the amount of graph paper I can print in many different formats, I have been studying. Studying for the infamous GRE. That's right. I officially announce to the internet my vie for graduate school in the fall of 2009. You will be happy to note that my first blog was started and constantly updated while getting my undergrad degree. It was the most depressing drivel I have ever seen - and yes I have read this blog. I'm being open to these next steps that God has for me. The hardest part - I am currently very content. I am content and even happy in my job. I love my living situation, I love this town. If this thing goes through, I will be leaving it all behind and heading back to Oklahoma. I am applying for the Environmental Sciences Graduate Degree program studying ground water conservation, water reclamation, and storm water management. I am waiting to get in on a project related to low impact development (but it doesn't start until the spring). You didn't know that on the deepest level that I was a nerd. Take this video, for instance. I about wet my pants when I saw this and was captivated by the simple concept and the impact it could have.


It doesn't hurt that he has an accent. That makes things so much easier to listen to and take in.


I guess that is all. I had to emerge from the studying bubble for awhile, so I figured a blog entry would be the ticket. It only took me an hour to write. I guess I shouldn't try to multi-task.

Katie comes from a long line of leavers . . .

welp kids, this has been an interesting weekend, to say the least. am i going to be vague about it? you betcha.

i had a pretty open weekend - the first in over a month. i spent saturday reading and taking my dog for ridiculously long walks because it felt about 75 outside and it was amazing to be out in it on february 7. there have been many thoughts swimming in my mind of late. i don't know if you know this about me or not - but i am pretty content with my life. it started sometime in the fall (i can't pinpoint the day, or even the month). a calm came over my life that i can't quite explain other than God is showing me that things are ok. paul talks about it when he wrote the philippians - and i think i finally understand what he is talking about. i didn't have teen angst when i was growing up, but i did have 20's angst . . . to the extreme. things still bother me, or upset me, but i think i have begun to see the bigger picture and know that it is bothersome now but in a few weeks it will be just fine. anyway, the thoughts swimming in my mind are really related to what direction my life needs to take. what i am doing is fine for now, but there is no challenge, other than the physical challenge of work. it isn't challenging my mind. and on the rare occasions it calls for brain work it is on random things that shouldn't be analysed. so my ongoing question has been, what is next? where do i need to do next? is this it? i don't know if i ever expected those questions to be answered - but many options came poking me this weekend. out of nowhere in particular, why does He like to work that way? so i am weighing my options and seeing if there are any bites.

as i weighed and pondered today (some more) i got a call. "yes, the tax man does want all of your money." what i thought was a mistake in the way i was doing my taxes was no mistake at all. while i have most of the money that uncle sam wants, i don't have all of it - and that my friends is where my new found contentment (and trust) comes in. i did all the right things, my accountant did all the right things, my employers did all the right things, i saved the right amount out of the money from the work i did on the side for people this year, there is no one to blame (i usually blame myself, but i'm not this time because it was truly a fluke). it is an interesting thing really. such a sum of money never really entered my mind as being possible, and now it is just like a bad dream - one that i hope is over soon.

thinks she is turning japanese

Well I guess it is about time for me to write you again. It has been some time since I have taken any pictures, or thought about writing. Still no photos, and . . . TA DA, I'm here writing. I saw this today and thought I would share:

Anyway, I guess this is the start of many conversations with Gladys. I suppose now I'm going to have to go every so often to watch those on YouTube.

Today was a great day to be outside. Not so much to work, but just to be outside. Let's see, I painted a curb, I cleaned up some leaves, I fixed a salt spreader - don't be envious, you all know you want my job, but right now it is taken. That was said with all the sarcasm this little heart could muster.

Well I guess that is about all. OH, I did make some biscuits today. Not as good as my Grandmother, but I did alright. I just did the thing where you drop them onto the pan instead of rolling them all out and then cutting them out with the fancy little cutter. That was fun for me. Now I have approximately 19 left over that I'm not really sure what to do with. Is that an exaggeration . . . you know me.

Is it just me, or does this biscuit look like a frog?
Maybe a catfish?

has had a hard day's night

I think I am going to leave that status up for another day. The snow is finally over and that means that I get to take a bit of a break. This first real snow of the season wasn't too terrible, if I do say so myself. It was a good one to really get my feet wet (literally and physically). Not only did it snow a lot over about a day and a half we also had a plow go down. That was the BEST part. I say that will all the sarcasm my heart can muster (which as you know is quite a bit). The picture to the left shows the exact moment that I knew we wouldn't be plowing any more that night . . . or was it morning? I don't really remember - my days and times are a bit fuzzy right now. All is well, and actually it was an easy week. All I know is I love going in over night. I don't think I would love it everyday, but there is something about 3 am that has a peace about it.

Oh, and the picture to the right is from when we went sledding Tuesday night. It was snowing huge flakes and it was coming down hard and fast. It was awesome. I got a new sled for Christmas and Tuesday was it's maiden voyage. It is the best sled I have ever owned. It is huge, first of all, and second it is super fast and you don't really feel the bumps (like the curbs).

Oh, and my status from before was: Shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. So in honor of that - HEEEEEERRRRREEEEE's Harvey:

is the tax man

no, i will not update you on the statuses you missed - because i am in just that sort of mood. my weekend and monday were full. not full in the case of, "wow, i have a lot going on and i just can't catch a break." but full in the fact that there were a lot of things going on mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and yes - some physically. in the interest of time i am going to do a "stream of consciousness" stolen from my friend John.

• while friday was suppose to be spent at a big brothers/big sisters lock in it was not. for reasons unexplainable other than the ever changing mind of a teenager i spent the evening at home . . . well not at home after all. i couldn't figure out why that teenage mind had been changed until the events of the day and night unraveled and then it made perfect sense. am i being ambiguous? yes, of course i am. friday night is not really my story to tell, only that i am glad to have been in the right place at the right time, and am humbled every day how God chooses to work in my life.
• up early on saturday to go work at the Harris home. what a great time to work side by side with friends and take some time to get to know everyone a bit better.
• i am getting closer and closer to the summer which means a lot of things. one it is going to be hotter than a cat on a hot tin roof, and two i am getting closer to family camp. more on that to come, but in short is is a trip that my mom and i are taking to help give some families a much needed break and time to re-connect on deeper levels. i can't wait.
• more and more i am finding that it is easy to give my heart away. not necessarily in the romantic love department, but in relationships in general. while i have guarded my heart for about 30 years, this gradual giving that has been going on has made a huge impact on me.
• i am crying a lot more now, and not really because i am sad (random tidbit)
• i started my taxes this weekend - and yes i am totally frustrated. due to changes in my life over the past year and some change my taxes have been a confusing mess. this was compounded this year again and now i fear that i will not be able to do my taxes on my own this year. i have always found a sense of pride in doing my taxes since i was 16, and now i am seeing that i need to be humble enough to ask for some much needed help.
• i am learning that to be a christian really means to become like Jesus and show him to others. not to be afraid to admit your problems or hang ups. Kevin likes to say that - aa is where you go and admit you are bad and you get better. church is a place you go and pretend you are good and get worse. anyway, i heard christianity encapsulated so well last week Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Now don't read that as you have to be all those things at once. Look at them as steps. First learn to be humble. then as you grasp the humble part you will gradually learn to be gentle. and so on until, in the end, you are looking more and more like Jesus.
• i am finding that i have a lot of thoughts, but i never really finish them. i get a good start and then they just fizzle. i don't know if it is lack of thought, or that there is too much thought.
• i am gaining a different perspective on my job. not a good or bad perspective - just different.
• and to conclude i have The Beatles and their cartoon of Taxman:

Want's To Leave A Legacy

My friend Ben just got back from Haiti. I was really excited for this trip because they were taking him to shoot video footage of the area and what it was like there. I wanted to learn more. Not because I'm ready to pack my bags for Haiti - but I could . . . I don't know, you know me, I won't. I just like to hear and see places I have never been in hopes that one will strike a chord and maybe I will know what is next for me. I think I know, but it has been a long waiting game with that one. Anyway, Ben posted a video of something that happened on their first day there - and this my friend is what it means to leave a legacy. It doesn't have to be big things that make a mark, it can be in the small things too. I encourage you to take some time and watch - turn up your speakers a bit.

http://todaysawesomeness.blogspot.com/2009/01/day-205-video.html

More Obama

I alluded yesterday that I had some photos of the inauguration - and I do. They are taken from my couch. Seeing the crowd just made me cringe inside - I can take crowds in small doses, I think this would have been overkill though. I also saw this video on a blog I visit every-so-often. I thought it was funny. I love it that one of the places that promotes the liberal view the most (all be it in a hilarious way) did this. I guess they are equal opportunity jokers.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Changefest '09 - Obama's Inaugural Speech

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

Katie is a lumber jack and she's OK!

The post/status today comes from . . . . Monty Python. You are correct. And yes, I will put you up to date. The statuses you missed were:

• Heard you on the wireless back in fifty two (Video Killed the Radio Star)
• Katie is takin' out the papers and the trash (as in yak-ity-yak, don't talk back)

I have heard it said that no news is good news and that is exactly what all this non-updating has been. I refused to talk about how cold it was (one more time) so there really wasn't a lot to report. BUT TODAY. Oh my today is glorious. Close to 60 and it was amazing. Tomorrow it is back down into the 40's but I can totally handle that. I have been trimming trees for the past few days (hence the lumber jack reference) and it has been a ton of fun. Yesterday I was climbing a tree to trim it and that is always a bonus. My last few nights have been full of reading and of course the inauguration. I may post pictures later (yes I did, I took pictures of the TV), but I am just too lazy to download any photos today. I didn't take pictures of the screen because I think Obama is the answer to all of our political, personal, emotional, health, war, problems - I took pictures because I want to remember the day that an African American took office. Did I vote for him? You will never know - I'm so elusive about this vote, can you even stand it? Vote for him or not - he is my President now and I stand with him, and stand with others who see this as a turning point in history that, as he said, 60 years ago his father couldn't even be served in a restaurant, and now he is taking the oath of office.

was just in the middle of a dream, she was kissin' Valentino by a crystal blue Italian stream

I was by a stream . . . of water coming out of a big blue tank . . . but no one was with me . . . and I was awake. I kind of wish I had been dreaming, this had to have been one of the longest days in a long time. It took over and hour to drain each tank, and about another hour (a little less depending) to fill it back up. "Why?" you ask. Well in case of an emergency - of course! Worst part is I didn't get finished today. I still have one that hasn't completely drained, ergo, it needs to be filled tomorrow.

wants to be a paperback writer

Ben asked me to be a guest blogger (well he asked all his readers, and I volunteered and then he agreed) so today was my day - hence the status update. Anyway, I just posted that which has to be one of the most sappy posts I think I have ever written. I'm just going to leave it at that.

Just so we are up to date (because it matters in the space time continuum that we find ourselves trapped in) other status updates that I have not shared include:

• can't live on bologna sandwiches (as in the "hidden song" from Down Here that says, "Rock stars need money, they can't live on bologna sandwiches. Rock stars need money and it comes from you, and you, and you, and you . . . and you.")
• wonders if she had a hammer, would she hammer in the morning

My life has been pretty devoid of any news besides the weather and how cold it has been, so I have chosen not to talk about it. It is cold, I need to get over it. Back to the blogging thing I have an observation. Of my blog I think I may have 5 readers that regularly visit the site, or have me on a blog reader roll, or something. I may be generous by saying 5. Some may stumble upon it, say "oh that is nice that she has a blog" and never come back. I'm good with that. I'm good with all that. I think I may have had 3 good posts over the life of this blog, my personal favorite being one where I said that Darth Vader was my hero. Ben, on the other hand has many, many more readers. One, because he knows so many people, and two he is a hilarious writer. Blogging is one of those things that becomes kind of a community of people. He has 5 guest bloggers while he is out of town, and in turn those people get some traffic that they may not have originally had. He had another friend of mine write one yesterday. John did a great job, and because of that and my little link here he may get a bit more traffic. There are much larger blogs - say Dooce, that gets hundreds of thousands of people visiting every day (I think that is a conservative estimate), that have friends with the same number of visitors daily - and they guest blog for one another, and it just grows into something bigger and bigger. I think blogs mimic what happens in life. I have a friend, and then I meet their friends, and in the end it just grows bigger and bigger into our realms of influence. Well, that growth of influence is going on right now in my living room, and I have neglected it long enough. I had some things I needed to do (i.e. Ben's blog) and now that is done - so I am off to interact with the living.

Katie is like a heat wave . . . burning in my heart

What a day! I spent it huddled inside. I was out for about 20 minutes, but that is about all I could do. Other than that I would go out in short bursts of maybe 3 minutes each. The temperature gage on my truck read 0 when I went into work and 13 when I came home. Not going to be much better tomorrow. I have a few things still to do inside, and so I think that is where I will stay.

whatever you're doing inside of me, it feels like chaos but somehow there's peace

Wow, it is really cold outside. Tomorrow? Even colder. The day started off pretty fair, I think we were close to 38. It was good until about 10:43 and the wind kicked up and immediately the temperature started dropping, and all the leaves I was trying to pick up were blown about. I saved all my inside work for tomorrow in hopes to stay warm. I will be a frozen architect by about 8:15 while I ride on the Gator for the morning rituals . . . but hopefully the rest of the day will be spent in the balmy 59 degree shop.

is taking a quick break from songs to ask if anyone has an old ATT phone I can buy or have

It is just as it says. For awhile now we have been joking about the "strobe light function" my phone has. The screen blinks on and off. Now it is more of a "blank screen function". It is on for about 3 seconds then there is just a blank stare. There are a lot of options for a gal like me needing a phone - but many of them are expensive, some are out of the question, and others are just plain a headache. I don't really want to re up my plan for 2 year, but I might have to . . . unless you have an old ATT phone that will take a SIM card.

Katie made the sign of a teaspoon, he made the sign of a wave

Well here is my version of the weekend update:

1. Wall washing. Need I really say more about that. I had a great time washing walls and just thinking about the home and the people for whom I was washing the walls.

2. dAN's concert. What was once to be at Cicero's was moved to The Elvis Room at Blueberry Hill. What a great place to have a concert. It looked and smelled like a locker room - but it was awesome. I'm not sure if it is totally Kosher, but I took a few video's and took a few pictures. For music see his MySpace Page: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=76103867. If you get a chance to see him - just do it and don't ask questions. Anyway, a few pictures. My roommate Gina was one of the singers - so that was exciting to me to hear her belt it out with dAN.






3. I got to see some friends of mine that I hadn't been able to see in awhile. It was an incredible time playing a little Wii, and opening my last Christmas present of 2008 Christmas. Probably one of my favorite gifts - a sled. For those of you who don't know, I LOVE to sled and I hope for snow daily . . . even in July.

Katie was dancin' and singin' and movin' to the groovin'

Today was another full day. I don't have the time to go into it all right now - my bed is gently calling my name. I did get some of the pictures from dAN's concert touched up a bit and you can see them on the sidebar there on the right. He sure did play that funky music white boy. I will probably do a whole weekend wrap up tomorrow when I have more time to sit and think and write about it.

I was asked today (and yesterday) about some books that I have been reading - mostly concerning Carie (red in one afternoon) and The Grapes Of Wrath (still wading through it). Maybe I will have those insights later on in the week as well.

Off to bed, after folding laundry and sitting on my sled praying for some good snow.

Is Forever Young

No not Forever Young by Rod Stewart . . . although I might have a post about being sexy sooner or later. Anyway, it was a reference to this song:



Nice hair! The outfits were great as well. If you look for some of their other songs: Big In Japan is a must see - mostly for the video itself. It seems a little like The Wall for a bit of it, but then gets more into the regular 80's stuff we have all come to expect and love from that era. I especially love that he looks menacing and yet is inviting them to be forever young - "Look kids, you can look crazy just like me!"

Well, I had a big day today, not the least of which was going to see dAN Hartke in concert at Blueberry Hill. One of my roommates sang with him today as well. Pictures to come tomorrow. For now it is off to walk the dog one last time and try to finish The Grapes Of Wrath - it is taking me forever.

To Her Alma Mater, O...S...U

I don't really know why I chose this lyric today - maybe because of the football game that was totally lost by OU last night. I didn't watch the game, I was sleeping. I did see the first two touchdowns of the game (one each team).

I don't really have anything to say today. Maybe that is why I don't blog much - I rarely have anything to say. I see blogs that have purpose: they are informational about crafts, they have a theme, they are for profit, or they speak about certain topics that are important to them. My blog has no real purpose other than outlet. Well that is how it started. I don't know that I really need this outlet anymore. I mean, look at the web address - where is my couch. When I started this I needed a couch to sit on and talk about what was going on in my head that I couldn't get out. Many times . . . most of the time, my thought are a jumbled mess in my brain. I think at one point I compared it to a highway at rush hour. My Ginny once told my Dad, "Butch, you think too much." Well I got that from him. I think a lot. I don't know that my thoughts are ever really profound or anything, I just think and analyse things . . . sometimes for hours. So in an effort to empty out some of those thoughts I wrote here for anyone and everyone to read. Funny, now that I am working a manual labor job, I don't really get traffic jams like I use to. Sure I went to counseling for real, and that helped a TON. But nothing has really done it for me like this job. Maybe it is the lack of real responsibility. My main responsibility is to show up when I am suppose to and work my tail off the time I'm there. Not hard. Well I work hard, but you know what I mean. I think the working unclogs the jam. So all that to say, do I need this outlet? I keep it because it is here - that is really the only reason.

says, one and one and one is three.

Well today was totally different that yesterday - in the fact that there was nothing picture worthy today. We did hang the swings this afternoon, and maybe I should have taken a photo of that.

Anyway, today's lyric comes from a Beatles song: Come Together. Ben talked about mash ups today on his blog - and come to find out that is what I was going to talk about today. Today's lyric is also a part of one of my favorite DJ Earworm mash up: Together As One. He has been doing these for awhile now and has them available for download on his site . . . for free. I haven't been back to his site in many months, and when I visited this afternoon he had released a plethora of new music! Very exciting!



Sorry if this post seems a little disjointed - maybe it is just how I write. But today I am trying to multi-task while writing. Downloading the new DJ Earworm stuff, writing the blog, going to get links to incorporate to the blog, and listening to pieces of the songs I am downloading.

Anyway the songs in the video are:
U2 - One
Beatles -Come Together
Diana Ross - Someday We’ll be Together
Mariah Carey - We Belong Together

Is Young, Heartache to Heartache She Stands. No Promises, No Demands.

A pretty chill day for me, not much to report. Should be noted that the status updates are song lyrics or titles (hmmm, bet you didn't figure that one out), but that they are not necessarily pertinent to my day. I try to make it fit my day, but that takes way too much brain power and I would rather spend my lunch break reading than trying to find a song lyric that matches my day. Sometimes I win, sometimes I lose - it is like gamble chocolates. If you don't know about gamble chocolates, go watch some Jim Gaffigan and I am sure you will come across that joke (I think it might be mixed in with holidays or maybe his Halloween bit).

OK, so I lied there is A LOT to report tonight:

1. Finished the fixing and painting of my three benches/porch swings. I have one more tweak job to do on one of the swings, but it will be a piece of cake.
2. I was inches away from grabbing my camera today to take it to work. I keep telling myself that I should because that will prompt me to take more pictures. One of my goals for 2009 is "more pictures", hence my Flickr account. Well I didn't take it, and about 10 things happened today that I wanted pictures of, and that was just at work. Log splitting, and appliance demolition just to name two things that would have been great to have photos of. Especially if someone had taken a photo of me doing some demo - because I was told that I reminded them of Sigourney Weaver in Aliens. I always did want to shave my head.
3. And, saving the best for last, we went to see Isaac tonight. He is only the cutest baby ever! I just wanted to sit on the couch and watch him, and watch his parents interact with him. It was incredible.

So anyway, as you can see my song lyric really has nothing to do with my day - but it was a fun day. Doesn't look like it will be as fun tomorrow. Doing some transplanting and not getting to go see a color-coordinated-blue-steel baby.

wears her sunglasses at night

so, technically it was morning - but it was still dark. spent the early morning putting out a bit of salt. have to tell you, it wasn't a lot of ice but it was EVERYWHERE. I haven't heard that many wrecks reported on the radio in a long time. people just weren't paying attention to what they were doing. you can't go 70 on ice, no matter how thin the film is, it is still ice.

spent the rest of the day painting - wooo doggy! i think this afternoon calls for a little art work, a long shower, a bit of reading, and a heating pad for my back. oh, and a tub of lotion for my completely cracked hands - that potassium chloride really sucks out all that moisture.

is just dust in the wind

all i can really say about that status is that i feel like i am just being blown around. that sounds really dramatic, but i don't know how else to say it exactly. i follow directions from many different people - that is all i am saying - it isn't dramatic. so therefore i am dust in the wind going where? i'm not sure. also, still in the beginnings of the grapes of wrath, so there is a lot of talk about dust and dirt, and (in the last chapter i just read) Jesus and sin.

one of the reasons i feel like dust - when did i become a painter? last i recall i was a landscape architect parading around as a landscape contractor. but by the looks of my shoes, the work i did today, and the work i have been doing for the last 3 weeks - i'm a painter now?

oh and thanks to ben for pointing out my grammatical errors on my last post. due to the fact that i generally like to leave stuff alone to keep people on their toes - it will stay as is. and go check out his site, he usually (ok always) has something awesome to talk about - and click on some of his adds. while you are at it - click on one of mine.

stepped into a church she passed along the way

another facebook status, but dropping the morgan. i think i like that better, without the morgan.


well i did step into a church today, but i didn't just randomly pass it - it's where i go, its what i do. i'm not typically a knee prayer though, maybe i should start. we got a new music pastor today, we voted this afternoon. well they voted and i watched. they strike me as a wonderful family, and a great addition to the team and our church body. i think the fact that they are coming is great. we have been in need for about two years - the search started in january of 2007. i do feel sad for them though - moving away from such close connections they have to come to a place so new and different. let's face it st. louis is different.


i have been doing a lot of reading and a bit of writing over the last couple of day. emphasis on a bit when it comes to the writing part. i am in the middle of carrie right now, by stephen king. it is very interesting. i like the way king describes things and the way he weaves a story - "its a gift my friend, don't hid that in a bushel basket" (jim gaffigan). i just keep thinking about high school and how hard it was, is, and can be for people. my favorite part about the book is the way the word popular is spelled with a capitol "p", like it is a proper name. i think in high school i would say our popular group had a capitol "p" as well. though in my mind there was popular and then there was the even better - "high" popular. i was in neither group. i had many friends - some of them even in the popular and "high" popular groups, but i wasn't a capitol p. anyway, after that i will finish reading the grapes of wrath by steinbeck. i started it last night and have already been captured by the way he describes dust. DUST, there i said it. the man knows how to make you feel the dust.

Morgan Is Climbing Up On Solsbury Hill

Let's see, what to talk about today? How about death? Now everyone is comfortable, right?

Honestly, this isn't going to be a heavy entry even due to the topic. None of them really have been lately anyway. But the reasoning behind the idea of death is the fact that my old dog Rags is getting put to sleep today - in about an hour. I'm not terribly upset at this point, I know that it won't really hit me until I go home again and he isn't around. The same thing happened with my cat a few years back. I'm more upset for my mom and the fact that she is doing this alone. Has always done this alone with no backup.

We called Rags "The Old Man" because that is exactly how he acted. Like one of those grouchy old men that sit on their porch and yell at the kids who are playing stick ball on the street. The same old man who yells at the paper boy for throwing his paper in the bushes, or yells at a door to door sales man just for looking at his house. That "Old Man." The thing is most of those old men have a soft spot . . . somewhere. Many days it takes a long time to find Rags' soft spot, but its there.

Anyway, Solsbury Hill. Whenever I hear this song I think of The Shining. I know you are asking yourself, "why in the world would a song like that remind her of The Shining?" Well I will tell you, or actually I will show you. I'm sure I have posted this here before, but it bears repeating - because it IS AWESOME! The soundtrack makes all the difference.

Morgan Wants Her MTV

Yep, another Facebook status report. Are you seeing a pattern yet?

Up, breakfasted, showered, and dressed before Noon! A vacation record I think. Spent the day yesterday deep cleaning and re-arranging my room. A task that should have only taken 2 hours that I managed to stretch out for about 7. Overall I am pleased with the floor space being all in one spot instead of chopped up all around the room. Makes getting around in there a lot easier. I was going to paint, but at the last minute decided that it was fine how it was . . . for now.

I am now at the half way mark on my year hiatus of TV and movies. So far so good. I find though that anytime the TV is on in the house and someone is watching I will stop for a few minutes and watch ANYTHING. I have also noticed I can't take it for very long. About a week ago I had to watch the weather for work. I had to turn the TV down really low because all the visuals, noise, and blameless consumerism of the commercials had me a little shell shocked. I guess my plan of watching the new Batman right out of the box might be a bad idea considering a little weather is a bit much for all of my senses. I wonder if it will be like introducing an animal back into the wild?

Anyway - enjoy the day and this video:

Morgan Partied Like It Was 1999

That was the status update I had this morning on Facebook - so I thought I would carry it over to here. Explanation - 1999 I rang in the New Year by watching movies. While I did not duplicate that aspect of 1999, I duplicated the act of sitting around and not doing much of significance: reading, playing with my dog and a camera, and you can't forget the incredible experience of finger print animals.

Goodbye 2008, half of your year was terrible, half was great (in that order). Of course I don't blame that on you 2008, I blame that on my age seeing as how the even numbered ages are not all that stellar, and are usually pretty difficult.

(see more pictures at my new Flicker account: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sarcasticandsingle/)

Beatle Bob

In my last post I eluded to Beatle Bob. Many don't know who Beatle Bob even is. He is a legend (at least here in St. Louis). You can find out more at his Wikipedia entry: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beatle_Bob, and also there is this neat-o-video: http://publicbroadcasting.net/kwmu/news.newsmain?action=article&ARTICLE_ID=1414401

Dance on Bob. I enjoyed seeing you at Trout Fishing In America.

Who Knows

I don't know where I found this, or what possessed me to put this on my blog (I came across this in my drafts). But I guess I had some time tonight to work on a draft or two so this was the first one on the list. If you ever get a chance to go see Trout Fishing In America - DO IT! Just got back from their rocking show at the library and they didn't disappoint. Beatle Bob was even there. Got some signatures to add to my signed CD collection.

Place an X by all the things you've done. Answer the 30 questions at the end.

(X) Gone on a blind date
(X) Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
(X) Been to Canada
(X) Been to Mexico
(X) Been to Florida
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost
(X) Been on the opposite side of the country
(X) Gone to Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robber
(X) Recently colored with crayons
(X)Sang Karaoke
( ) Paid for a meal with coins only?
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
( ) Made prank phone calls
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain
( ) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about.
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
(X) Gone to the movies

1. Any nickname: Morgan
2. Mother's name ? Mom
3. Favorite drink? Cherry Coke
4. Favorite drink? Alcoholic: Mojitos
5. Body Piercings? Yes, but I don't actually wear the ornaments
6. How much do you love your job? A lot, but I miss some of my old co-workers . . . OK 1 of them
7. Birthplace? Hospital
8. Favorite vacation spot? Cancun
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Of course
11. Ever been on TV? Yep, but the TV isn't very sturdy so I don't get on it much
12. Radio?: Yes
12. Ever steal a traffic sign? Nope
13. Been in a car accident? Yes
14 . Drive a 2-door/4 door vehicle? 2 Door
15. Favorite salad dressing? Ranch
16. Favorite pie? Lemon Meringue
17. Favorite number? 13
18. Favorite movie: Yeah right
19. Favorite holiday? No
20. Favorite desserts? All
21. What is your favorite food? Jimmy John's
22. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
23. Favorite brand of body wash? Whatever soap is on sale
24. Favorite toothpaste? Closest to the end so I don't have to go into the aisle
25. Favorite fragrance? Pipes
26. Work on Sudoko puzzles? No
27. What is your number 1 pet peeve? Random quizzes
28. How do you see yourself in 10 years? The same as now, only 10 years older, and probably living in a hut.
29. Furthest place you will send this message? 2 feet
30. Who will respond to this the fastest? No one

John Harder

Everyone - run, don't walk to your phone or email to drop John Harder (http://jharderphotography.blogspot.com/) a line. Tell him that he is an incredible artist and you want him to take your picture (or pictures of your wedding, family, friends, dog, bar b-q, family gathering, birthday party, WHATEVER just have him take your picture), you will be happy he did. Probably more than happy. He came out a month ago to take some pictures of my roommates and I. I was skeptical, I'm not much on having my picture taken. My mind was blown by the way he captured the fun we have together.

His website: http://jharderphotography.blogspot.com/
Our photos: http://jharderphotography.blogspot.com/2008/11/roomies.html

The Cars

I am sitting here trying to be still. I spent the day hauling brush and cutting down trees . . . ok, one HUGE tree. The Cars just came on my iTunes - my old boss loved The Cars, so now I am debating deleting them off of my list. I don't think I will ever really enjoy them again. Pathetic, I know. Ahh, Chicago - now that is a band I can get behind.

Songs From The Heart

I have been surrounded my whole life with music. I have never been all that musical, and neither has my family - but I grew up with a mom constantly playing Who Sings It in the car with me as we would drive around. Her station pick was oldies, 60's and 70's music that she loved growing up. I guess it made her feel all nostalgic. If I started to wane in my enthusiasm for the game she would sometimes give me a quarter for every right answer. I started getting good, so she quit the quarter part - and in the end that was a real deal breaker for me.

When I left home I came into my own when it pertained to music. Choosing bands that spoke (or seemed to speak) for my generation. Oozing of the young adult angst, and confusion of that time period in my life. In the past few years I have been surrounded with music lovers of all different tastes. My roommates are both music lovers. Both singers, one guitar player, one piano learner. Then there is me, no singing voice, and too impatient to learn an instrument (except maybe the drums, the jury is still out on that one). They introduce me to a lot of independent music, or other bands I would never choose on my own. There is also my music loving friend Tdivmua (his code name), who re-introduced me to those oldies, as well as greats from the 80's and 90's, and then his daughter who has the music that relates to her own young adult angst. There are a few others that have introduced me to new bands over the years. Some people I knew personally, and some friends I met on the internet. I don't just sit around listening to music a lot. I mostly have it in the background, and then I'm not really listening, it is just noise.

Today I was sitting in the living room looking out the window, just thinking. This week has given me a lot to reflect on (maybe more on that later, or not considering the 3 old blog entries I still have left unwritten, and the unused writers block on my desk). I can't tell you what I was really thinking about, just thinking I guess - when I heard the words to a song Kim was playing:

And this may not be the road I would choose for me
But it still feels right somehow
Cus I have never felt you as close to me as I do right now
So this is what it feels like to be led

All thinking just stopped and I started focusing on the words. It is a new song from Jeromy and Jennifer Deibler called "What it Feels Like (to be Led)". I asked to listen to it again. And then again. It seems like this song encapsulates the last year and a half of my life. There were no lyrics in the CD book, and I couldn't find anything online for it, so I wrote them out.

So this is what it feels like to walk the wilderness
And this is what it feels like to come undone
So this is what it feels like to loose my confidence
Unsure of anything or anyone

So this is what it feels like to walk the desert sand
This is what it feels like to hear my name
And to be scared to death cause I'm alone
But feel love and peace just the same

This may not be the road I would chose for me
But it still feels right somehow
And I have never felt You as close to me as I do right now
So this is what it feels like to be lead

So this is what it feels like to have it fall apart
To be totally unglued
And find out if I except my brokenness
I get more of me, I get all of You

This is what it feels like to be on shaky ground
Careful of every step I take
Realizing as I stop to look around
I look around and see everything a different way

And this may not be the road I would choose for me
But it still feels right somehow
Cus I have never felt You as close to me as I do right now
So this is what it feels like to be led
This is what it feels like to be led

So this is what it feels like to just walk away
From everything I thought kept me safe
To depend just on You for every meal
And find it's better this way
Oh it's better this way

And this may not be the road I would choose for me
But it still feels right somehow
And I have never felt You as close to me as I do right now
Like I do right now

This may not be the road I would choose for me
But it still feels right somehow
And I have never felt You as close to me as I do right now
And this is what it feels like to be led
And this is what it feels like to be led
And this is what it feels like

Sweatshirt

There is nothing like a great sweatshirt. My current great sweatshirt was bought in a country that needs no sweatshirts - Mexico. I guess the irony to that last statement is that I bought it on a warm day and I was freezing and needed one. I don't know why I was so cold, but I was. I think the memory of that trip contributes to the fact that it is a great sweatshirt - great trip, great friends, fun memories. But the actual idea of a great sweatshirt comes with the item itself, the extra stuff around it just add to the greatness.

Soft on the inside
Thick to buffet against the cold
Good hood that you can hide in with no string to bother you
Great sleeves to cover your hands when you forgot your gloves
Great front pocket big enough for your hands in mittens
Good for mornings in the basement when you just feel like blogging or working on art
Good for raking leaves in the fall
Good for a cold fall night at a bonfire
Good when meeting friends for a casual night
Good for napping in
Good for those times you just need a break
Good for times that you are alone with God
Good for times when you are at a huge party

Cookies

Fortune Cookies:

Write your own story. Don't let others write it for you.

Time heals all wounds. Keep your chin up.

Why did I write these down? Because I am cleaning off my desk and found them. I wanted to keep them, but I don't have anywhere for them. So now they are blogged. Done and done.

More Dreams

I keep having very vivid dreams, and I just can't seem to get a handle on them. They aren't bad dreams - just very real.

Last night I had a dream that a guy I have known over 4 years told me he had been in love with me for all of those years. I laughed because I didn't believe him, but I guess he was serious. We talked about it and I guess we went out, but I don't remember actually going out because about that time a huge war broke out between zombies and vampires and the human race. It was really quite complicated to have a three way war. The vampires were a bit easier because they only fought at night - but the zombies just kept coming. A little too Shaun of the Dead for me. I think the dwindling human population (who when they died just made the other teams stronger) finally had a foothold on the war when I woke up. So I guess by the time I actually start dating it will be the end of the world. Thanks for that.

Dreams

I had a dream last night that Obama and I were carpooling to church. What was funny about this is that I guess from the way I acted about it it was a regular occurrence. I mean not totally regular because of all his travel during the election, but in my dream the carpooling was normal. We talked about the election, and about his time in the White House. He was looking forward to it (obviously) but he was upset about something. I don't know what he was upset about, but I don't remember that part of the conversation - only that he was tense. When we got to church it wasn't any big deal. We just walked in. I don't know if we drove home together because I woke up in the middle of slides.

I don't put a lot of stock in dreams - but it was almost like this one was saying to me, we are all in this together. You are probably reading the dream and saying, "how in the world do you get that?" Well because we were. We were living life together. I don't mean in the same house, but just together, like a community. We are all (Americans) in this next four years together. I don't know if you voted for the guy or not, and you don't know if I voted for him or not - and none of that matters, because we are now all in this thing called life together. I don't know what the next four years are going to be like, but I am behind him. I am behind him because he was chosen to lead. Just like I was behind Bush because he was chosen to lead (and because he is totally HAWT). I may not always agree (because I didn't always agree with Bush, that's for sure), but I am behind him. That is what we are called to as a nation whether we voted for him or not.

Yesterday

. . .love was such an easy game to play.

No really, yesterday. The votes are still being counted, but we have a new President Elect. I think that it is funny that the people I talk to fall into two camps.

1. Yes We CAN! He is our hope! You are an idiot for voting for that other guy!
2. Oh My GOSH! We are all in so much trouble. We may all die, I can't believe everyone voted for that guy.

And why do I find that funny and worthy to write about? There is NO IN BETWEEN! I don't believe Obama is the political version of the messiah, but neither is he the political version of the anti-christ. Can we please just all look at the bigger picture. The world is still turning at the same speed, at the same angle, and the sun came up this morning like it was suppose to. I was reading a bit of Shane Claiborne yesterday as the results were coming in (yes, I watched them on TV - scandal of scandals) and he said something that struck me. He was talking about an election and the idea that we can't really put all of our hope into one day, one vote, one candidate, or one party. I abandoned hope in the party system a long time ago, and I chose about a year ago to let go of the idea that one man or woman (Hillary was running at the time) will not make this country all better, or go into the toilet (take out of wrapper, place directly in toilet - Lean Pocket). Does that make me un-American? No. It just makes me someone who isn't going to argue with you until I am blue in the face, or yell at the top of my lungs while you are doing the same. Some may say that is a cop out, but I don't really care. I'm not trying to be middle of the road, or PC, I'm just being honest. There is a middle road here. Obama is now President Elect. Are our problems of a nation over? No. Is there going to be change? Yes. Will he do the best he can in this job? Yes. Will he make some mistakes? Yes. Would McCain have tried his best? Yes. Would he have made some mistakes? Yes. That is the point. They are both human. They will try their best, and each would have made mistakes. Mistakes will happen, that is life. You have to learn to deal with your mistakes, their mistakes, and move on. Pray for this new guy in the White House - he is going to need it in this volatile world we live in. I know I am.

Tomorrow

Well tomorrow is the big day - you guessed it, the second day my boss will be on vacation . . . I think we vote tomorrow too. I am not completely sure because my mail box was flooded with propaganda when I got home.

I went through a phase where I loved movies about fake presidents. You know: Dave, The American President, and My Fellow Americans. I recommend all of them, especially My Fellow Americans - it is a riot. Anyway through this whole election season I just kept thinking of a line from The American President (one of those I could probably quote as well as Drop Dead Gorgeous, that is how many times I watched it). As one party was screaming at the top of their lungs about an issue, the other party was trying to out scream. I grew quite tired of it and just kept thinking:

". . . standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that
which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours."

I went to IMDB to see if I was even close on the quote, and I was pretty darn close on it. Here is more of the speech that I think has some weight. Yes, I think the filmmaker had some good things to say in this movie if you take out the fact that the president gets a girl friend and all that Hollywood stuff.

America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've got to want it
bad, because it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say, "You want free speech?
Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil who is standing
center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a
lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the 'land
of the free'? Then the symbol of your country cannot just be a flag. The symbol
also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in
protest. Now show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then
you can stand up and sing about the 'land of the free.'"

There was also an argument that I liked:

Lewis: People want leadership, Mr. President, and in the absence of genuine leadership, they'll listen to anyone who steps up to the microphone. They want leadership. They're so thirsty for it they'll crawl through the desert toward a mirage, and when they discover there's no water, they'll drink the sand.
President: We've had presidents who were beloved, who couldn't find a coherent sentence with two hands and a flashlight. People don't drink the sand because they're thirsty. They drink the sand because they don't know the difference.

I don't know who you are voting for. I do believe this is an important election and I am not taking tomorrow lightly. I have not given my opinion here on who I'm voting for and why because of a lot of reasons. The biggest reason being everyone telling me who to vote for and if I say differently they tell me that I am an idiot. I may be an idiot, but it isn't because of who I am voting for. The other reason being all the rhetoric being thrown around - there are many sides to every issue, and no matter what side of that issue you are on you think you are right. There is little room for error in that sort of situation, so I just chose to stay out of it this year from everyone (including my family).

Photos

Well kids - I would apologize about not being around more, but I'm not really all that sorry. After all the tv and movies that I am missing it seems that I don't spend much time around this other electrical entertainment device. Usually I hop on, check my email, facebook, and check out. I have even gone so far as to TURN MY COMPUTER OFF!?!?! Amazing really. Anyway, if any of you are on facebook some of these photos may be a repeat, but not all of my readers are on facebook. I applaud you all that are not on facebook - I sometimes wish that were still the case for me, but it is fun to catch up with those that I don't get to see very often.

Anyway, I promised a photo from my Great Night Pocket:

For those of you who don't know that cast of characters - from Left to Right: Me, Jim Gaffigan, Kim Underwood (Kimberly), and Gina Manual (or Sara as no one calls her)

If you are not familiar with Jim Gaffigan he is a very funny comedian that I have forsaken every other comedian for - including Frank Caliendo. Some of his more famous bits are Hot Pockets, Bacon, and some will hit it big from his current Sexy Tour after The DVD and CD release sometime next year. He also is the writer, producer, and voices for Pale Force. This is a clip of some of his earlier stuff, and also Sierra Mist.

OK - ENOUGH ABOUT THAT!

So umm . . . Oh, I started a new job a little over a month ago. That has been interesting. It uses some of my skills, a lot of skills I had a long time ago, and many skills I have never had. I am working at Covenant Seminary in their grounds department. I do mow a lot of grass, but I do get to do design work for them, and foresee a campus face lift in our future (over a long 30 year period after 4,019 meetings and board approval of every plant). Anyway, today was a rain day so I snapped a few pictures of my office and the shop:

Also, saw this guy yesterday and wanted to snap a picture. I'm not sure if he is just trying to be different, or if it just happened. Can't really explain nature - they are all the same tree variety, planted at the same time:

Well, I think that is enough for today. Maybe next time I will talk about my thoughts and feelings - but don't count on it. Be sure to weigh in on the poll. Most of you seem to be set on me seeing out this year long hiatus of mine. I agree with you, but wanted to see what a few people thought. Mostly because I keep getting people telling me that I should do this or that with it, creating rules and exceptions to something I did on my own. It isn't a rules and exceptions sort of thing - so I guess you will just have to deal with it won't you?

new poll

well i guess the upcoming election has me all keyed up for polls - so there is a new poll up for you to vote on. after this long of a hiatus from blogging i can't imagine there are many of my 3 readers left - but vote anyway.

Great Night Pocket

For my birthday (3 months ago) my roommates (great friends) bought me tickets to see Jim Gaffigan tonight (6 months ago). I have not watched any YouTube clips of any late-night shows he may have been a guest, because I wanted to hear his new jokes for the first time live. Jim did not disappoint. The night started off a little rough with a traffic jam holding us up and us walking in the door at 8 - the start of the show. Luckily they don't usually start on time. The opening act was great: Rich Brooks. Check him out if you get a chance. Funny guy with a great outlook on life and good delivery. Jim delivered as well with great bits about camping, fast food, bowling (using the word MOIST), beds, kids, circumcision . . . And classics like bacon and hot pockets. The whole place was alive and laughed non stop from the moment he walked on stage until he walked off (after the encore). I do have one complaint about the night - the people sitting on either side of us. On one side you had the show talker. She talked non stop - agreeing with Jim on every joke, and even finishing his sentences. On the other side was a screamer, and I'm just going to leave that one at that. After the show he did a meet and greet. I was sceptical of the whole thing. Wondering if he would be nice on the outside, but really be a jerk. But he shook hands, took pictures, and signed autographs for everyone there who wanted one. He even seemed almost shy about it, like he couldn't believe that all of us would want to meet him. When Kim told him that we loved to watch him in My Boys, it was almost like he couldn't believe we knew that show existed and that we watched it. He signed my CD "Happy B-Day Pocket" so I will hence forth be referred to as Pocket, and will only answer by that name. Just kidding, I will also respond to Miss. Pocket. Rich was also very kind, and I appreciated the way they both dealt with the mob. It would be a lot easier for them to just do shows and allow only certain people back stage - but they take the time to meet everyone that wants to, and that is neat.

If you are looking for a clean show, check them out. Even when he was talking about sex I wasn't embarrassed. I felt like I could have been watching with my grandmother and not been uncomfortable with what he was saying (of course she can barely hear . . . so).

Anyway, annoying fan picture to follow.

Hmmm

I haven't written in awhile, mostly because I haven't really had much time - well I have a bunch of time on my hands TODAY! A couple of weeks ago I gave a talk at one of my ponding groups. I didn't want to post it when I wrote it, because it was a couple weeks before I gave it - and I didn't want to give it away. I mean, it is a masterpiece. Anyway, here it is. I also added the questions I asked down below. Feel free to answer them. Drop me an email, or comment, or just think about the answers - I think it is good to see where you have come from and where you might be going:

*************

For those of you who know me – I’m a glass half empty kind of girl. A friend of mine once told me that the grass seemed to always be dead on my side of the fence. For much of my life I have had this to say:

That class was too hard, that class was to easy, it’s too cold, it’s too hot, there is nothing on TV, there are too many shows on right now that I want to watch, they give me too much work to do, I don’t have anything to do at work, that’s too long of a drive, I don’t want to walk, my dog is too playful, my dog never wants to play, where is the milk, I can’t find my left shoe, I don’t have anything to wear, I wish the neighbor’s dog would quit barking, I wish the neighbors would cut their grass, That movie isn’t coming out until when, they cancel all the good shows . . .

You get the idea. For me life just seemed (and sometimes still seems) difficult. So it would stand to reason that I am the perfect person to introduce the topic of dealing with difficulty and disappointment. Maybe most of my problem has to do with contentment – but I digress.

When I left college a few years back I moved to St. Louis to take a job with a small, but growing residential landscape company. I liked many of the aspects of my job, but was given little to no time in design – my first love. As time went on I was never given much more design time – and when I finally did the whole design would be changed by my boss. After 3 years with them I had grown tired of the whole thing. I made a couple of really great friends there but I was not sure how much longer I wanted to stay. About a year ago I started weighing my options and trying to decide if I wanted to stay or go. My prayer focus really shifted during that time to what God’s will really was in my life. You see there was a ministry that I was always interested in and they had some openings – was that what God wanted for me? The problem was I was praying a lot – asking God what he wanted me to do – but I never took one step. It is hart to steer a parked car. I did my job well, I had security there, and all of that was comfortable. On September 18th the day started like any other, but I came home that day without a job. The company was going to move in a different direction and my services were no longer needed.

I can’t tell you that I came home praising God for that meeting. I can’t tell you that I praised God much in the coming days. I really can’t tell you much about those first couple of weeks – but I do know that one of my first thoughts was – God, how could you let this happen? It took me many weeks, maybe even months before it changed to – God, thank you for showing me my next step. Honestly it is my faith in God, and remembering that he has my back that has helped me through. I know that my purpose in life is first and foremost for Him, and the rest is just decoration. Even a non-believer like Nietzsche understands that when he said, “If a man has a why for his life he can bear with almost any how.”

This last year for me has been mostly spent in the valley, so to speak. But during this time I have come to see that time in the valley is not necessarily bad. There are a lot of lessons, experiences, and opportunities in the valley.

A few people you will visit during your small group time are Moses, and Naomi. That doesn’t even mention Joseph, and most of the disciples.

Moses’ time in the valley (Exodus 2:11-4:31)
In summary this text is after Moses had to flee Egypt for killing the Egyptian soldier. It deals with his wanderings, marriage, and eventual conversation with God through the burning bush.

Exodus 2:16-17: Being in the valley teaches us how to serve. Lessons of servant hood are rarely learned during success
Exodus 2:23-24: Being in the valley teaches us how to trust. Moses, and the people of Israel had to learn how to believe even when God was silent.
Exodus 3:11 & 4:1: Being in the valley teaches us how to obey.

Naomi (Ruth 1:1-4:17)
In summary Ruth’s husband died and she moved with her mother in law, Naomi, back to where Naomi came from. Ruth did all she could to support them both – that is where she met Boaz whom she later married. To Naomi, life seemed hopeless after the death of her two sons and her husband.

Ruth 4:16-17: There is hope of what comes after the valley

*************

Discussion For Dealing With Difficulty and Disappointment

Q: What good is it to be in the valley?

Q: Did Jesus say his followers would have an easy road because they knew Him?
John 16:33

Q: What good can come out of disappointment?
Romans 5:3, James 1:2-4, 1 Peter 1:6-7, 2 Corinthians 1:3-7, 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Q: Is there a time that you faced disappointment, and came out on the other side having some benefits for you or others? Explain.

Q: What are some things that you can do when you face difficulty and disappointment?
Pray, read your Bible

2 Thessalonians 1:5, 2 Corinthians 4:17, John 16:33

Check It

Sonseed Reveled

I'm A New Fan of "Sonseed"

It was all a blur

Well I was over at my friend Ben's blog and he had Coldplay's new video up. I have said this before and I will say it again about Coldplay - you had me at Yellow.

Anyway, after the video was over I saw a few others that might be of interest (you know how YouTube does that don't you?

Anyway - I saw Blur's video: Music Is My Radar, and I just had to share it for a few reasons:
1. They are all wearing helmets
2. I love choreography





As far as Ben's 1970 year book picture, I can't take total credit - I saw it first from Kim. Anyway, if I had graduated in 1974 with my mother I would have looked like this:

Now I Understand!

Cutter (old post)

I have heard about recurring dreams, but I don't have them. I have had recurring themes, or places in my dreams, I have also had one dream that I have remembered for 25 years. I may have told you this before - but I had a very strange dream when I was very young. I was probably 4 or 5. Picture the scenery like you would see in a Tim Burton movie - because that is how I saw it (before I even knew who Tim Burton was). In this dream I went with my mom to a very tall building. I couldn't even count the stories, but the base of the building wasn't that big. The whole first floor of the building was a waiting room. We both went in and sat down and waited patiently. I wasn't sure what we were waiting for, I was just there. A nurse came out and called my mom's name. She told me to just wait. A few minutes later this huge, fat, ugly woman came into the waiting room with about 19 kids of various ages, and stages of dirty. She went to the receptionist's window and spoke with her a bit. The receptionist pointed at me and the large untidy woman with 18 too many kids came over.

"You are coming with me." She said in the gruff voice of someone who smoked way too much.
"No, I'm here with my mom. I'm waiting for her." I tried to say with boldness, but it came out more like a squeak.
"She isn't coming out. It has been arranged that you are to come with me." She said with a snarl.
"She told me to wait." I said with tears in my eyes.
"She told you to wait - she should have said you were waiting for me. She is never coming out of where they have taken her. You are part of my family now" She said with a chuckle.

There was obviously a joke I wasn't understanding. I sat there a minute and debated the situation in my head. There was no way my mom wanted me to go with this crazy, smelly woman with 19 kids that all looked like they had been eating dirt before coming here. That wasn't it. And why were we here anyway.

I weighed my options carefully and took off for the door my mother had disappeared behind. It closed just before my "future family" could stop me. I opened every door I came to until I found her. I ran hallway after hallway, stairs after stairs. I finally opened a door to see her lying on a table . . . only she wasn't all there. And by "all there" I don't mean mentally, I mean physically. Her legs were gone, and part of her torso.

"Mom, what is going on?" I screamed, but she didn't hear me. She didn't even stir.
"We are cutting her up into little pieces." said a voice from behind me.
I turned to see a doctor standing there with his knife.
"It is a little experiment we are working on. Now be a good girl and go back down stairs and leave with your new family." He said matter-of-factly. Just like it is EVERY DAY that he cuts people in little pieces just to see what happens.

I ran up to where my mom's head was and whispered in her ear, "Mom, wake up. You have to stop all of this. Make them sew you back together and we can go home."

She opened her eyes and smiled at me and replied, "That woman down there will be a good mother." Then she closed her eyes again.

The woman I was to go home with grabbed me from behind and started pulling me away. I started screaming hysterically - then I woke up.

*****

Now mind you this dream took place back around the time my parents were getting divorced. In my mind she was my security, she was the only person I knew that would take care of me. Not that my dad was a terrible person - actually quite the opposite. But he just wasn't there. And I was afraid of that same thing happening with her. That one day she just wouldn't be there, without any really good reason why.

Fast forward to the time when I was going to write this post back in May. My mom was having a surgery. When you are there with someone having surgery there is that point where you are with them and then you are asked to leave, and then in a few minutes you can come back. That image in my dream sticks with me when she goes in for stuff like that. That image was there 5 years ago when she had cancer, and that image was there when I walked back in to see her before her last. It is in those moments that I wish that I never remembered my dreams, because I think the memory makes the whole situation much harder than it has to be.

What A Feeling

Mandalorian Dance @ Yahoo! Video

Olympic Feat

For as much flack that has been thrown around China hosting the Olympics, I am glad to see that the Opening Ceremony turned out so cool. These pictures seemed to capture it well.

http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/08/2008_olympics_opening_ceremony.html

Running

I just got back from running - check the time. And it was HOT with a capital HO. More on that in another post (maybe once the running has actually made positive difference in my weight and I have something to show for it).

Anyway, checking on some blogs that I frequent and I saw this video: http://pauldateh.com/2008/08/03/45/

What makes this interesting is a few things.
1. I had just been listening to Beatles on my iTunes
2. Eleanor Rigby is my favorite Beatles song
3. How the HE . . . ck did he not know the words to the song?
4. He is a great performer. If you get a chance to listen to more of his stuff you should. I love his instrumental works the best.
Check him out on his web page: http://pauldateh.com/
On this video I posted: http://whereismycouch.blogspot.com/2008/01/paul-dateh.html

Trip

This is really the whole reason for my trip two weeks ago. Can't figure out who is who? Left to Right back row: Dad, Dana (sister), Brian (brother in law), David (brother), me. Front row: Keegan and Michael (sons of Dana and Brian), Josh (son of David), Morgan (daughter of Dana and Brian).

We had a great time - I still need to post some pictures of my own from the trip, but I am always slow at unloading my camera. Not really sure why my brother is giving Josh rabbit ears.

Death and Kickball (One of those never written posts)

There is this video called Kickball. I have seen it a few times at one ponding event or another and I find the same thought goes through my head every time - I really want that kickball (or whatever the kickball represents). For those of you who have not seen Kickball let me explain a little bit about it. It is a movie put out by Nooma and they are lessons written and given by Rob Bell (Are you able to catch up with all the links I am throwing at you? Just wait, it gets better!) Kickball in particular deals with the idea that God may take things away from you, or say no to something - but that there is something else better coming for you. Something you can't see. He uses the illustration of his son in the mall looking at a huge wall of toys (all of which would break after one use). Rob knew that when they left the mall they were going across the street to the sports store to buy a kickball. His son, however, did not know and all that he could think about was this one small toy in the mall. He wanted one so badly, not knowing that in just a few minutes he would have a much better toy. He equated that with our life, and the things that we want in life. Those things are not necessarily bad things, and it isn't wrong to want them - but maybe God knows something that you don't, maybe he has something better planned for your life.

Anyway at the last ponding event that I saw this (not my regular ponding a different pond) the room was pretty split on the discussion about it. But one person in particular stuck out. He just said it was hard to imagine that once God took something away from him that was so valuable, that there would be something better out there for him. He was sad about what was taken away from him, but he had hope in what may lie ahead. Two weeks before his fiance died of a terrible illness. He had spent the last year visiting her at the hospital 3 or more hours away. He would go to his classes, then work, then drive down and see her. Some nights he had to sleep in his car because they would not let him stay overnight at the hospital and he was too tired to drive home. One morning he came home at 5:30 in the morning and he couldn't remember if it was AM or PM, what day it was, even if he was getting into his car to leave or if he was getting out of his car because he just got home. He had hope that there was something better out there for him - as painful as that may seem at the time. I don't talk a lot in big ponding situations. I usually feel like most people have a good grasp on what is going on when others explain things the way they see it, so I don't really speak up - but they asked me to say something. I'm not really sure how to follow that up. What I lost was not a loved one, it was a job. And really not so much the job but what the job represented. The job said that I was capable of something, that I could survive on my own, that I was settled into a rhythm. Has the last 10 months been hard - you betcha. Have they given me a new outlook on life - yarp. Has it been better - sometimes. But when I find my way out of this puzzling maze I will have my kickball.